Live Music Archive
Librivox Free Audio
Metropolitan Museum
Cleveland Museum of Art
Internet Arcade
Console Living Room
Books to Borrow
Open Library
TV News
Understanding 9/11
Buy most of my books in Amazon https://www.amazon.com/stores/page/60F8EC8A-5812-4007-9F2C-DFA02EA713B3
How long will it take you to recover from a traumatic breakup or from infidelity by your cherished partner?
And will you be able to remain friends afterwards or will you go no contact?
Will you try again, give each other a
second chance at relationship recovery?
Answer these six questions in the Heartbreak and Recovery Scale
(HeRS):
1. Did what s/he do come as a shock to you - or was it predictable, the
culmination of a visible process?
2. Did s/he humiliate you in the process, especially in public and in front of
your peers?
3. Did you react with anger or even rage
that just wouldn't go away?
4. Following the events, were you desperate and in the throes of
castastophising ("I will never find someone to replace her") or
negative automatic thoughts ("I always fail in my relationships")?
5. In the aftermath, did you experience profound sadness (dysphoria) and
nothing gave you pleasure (anhedonia)?
6. Finally, in the wake of the dissolution of the bond, did you feel
excruciating pain, overwhelming romantic jealousy, or pathological envy?
If you scored 2-3, it is improbable that you will ever be in touch again. A
score of 4 prefaces a new phase of mere friendship or companionship between the
two of you. A score of 5 or 6 leads to frenzied - though usually doomed -
attempts to restore the relationship to its former romantic self.
PROMISCUITY (S1) and SELF-EFFICACY (S2) SCORES
Promiscuity (multiple men simultaneously, group sex, casual sex, serial cheating, sex with relatives, age inappropriate sex partners, casual sex with strangers, rape, flings on trips, teasing, drunk sex, attempted group sex, sexting)
Self-trashing
Full disclosure, reactive disclosure, full and reactive disclosure
Organization of personality
Self-efficacy
Promiscuity (whore), personality organization, and self-efficacy (mother) predict the strength of the infatuation and subsequent shared fantasy.
Mortification is caused by: 1. Substituting another man for me in a new shared fantasy AND 2. Exit from our shared fantasy AND 3. Shifting all the blame and responsibility to me (especially when such a shift is merited).
